Personal Story: How Am I Surviving the Worst Period of my Life

Just few months ago, everything seemed to run smoothly. My depression wasn't so severe, I was able to feel happiness, I was going on trips and enjoyed nature and company.

All that was shaken in only a few days. My girlfriend left me. I had a new and stressful job coming, increasing  my social anxiety. I really can't describe if I am more anxious or depressed. I didn't eat anything for a few days at first. Then I started to eat a bit more and I was looking to be with anyone, to have any kind of company, I only needed to talk. I needed people more then anything else.

This is not a place for complaining, even if it is my personal blog. I want to share my experience not to help myself, but to help others with similar problems. And I know for a fact that simply knowing a lot of other people are going through what you are going through makes it easier.

My relationship meant too much for me. I was engaged 100% emotionally in that relationship, and I believe it was worst of the kind: the co-dependent type of relationship. It was loving and beautiful, and yet so stressful, so dramatic and unstable. I have large responsibility for what happened in my relationship, and I do blame myself greatly. The new challenge for me was to develop myself and evolve  from co-dependency to being a whole individual that does not need love and relationship at all costs. But it was a long-term battle. A battle that I didn't have time to finish on time, so I can save my relationship.

My ex-girlfriend is a wonderful person. She enjoys the company, she is creative and unique in her own way, she knows to stand up for herself, and that is what she did now. She stood for herself and couldn't take it anymore. My fears, my dramatic behavior, my emotional instability. Yes, she had her own flaws, bit it's my behavior that ultimately destroyed our relationship. I want you all to know that being honest and taking responsibility is first, and big step towards evolving yourselves.

I also know how powerful human interaction can be for healing your wounds. Few hours of talking with one of my friends possibly literally saved my life. As it is not probable that I would try to commit suicide, I could actually go in a state where I didn't eat, drink or sleep for far too long, so I would develop some kind of health problems sooner or later.

Anxiety over a new job is normal in everyone, but it came in the worst time possible right now. You can imagine it as fighting many battles, and suddenly you get a whole new war you also have to engage in. I am overwhelmed, exhausted, disappointed, but I am not alone.

And neither are you.

PLEASE if some of your friends or family is depressed, or just very sad and going through a though time, TALK TO THEM. ASK THEM OUT. COME BY THEIR HOUSE. Bring something with you. NO MATTER how much their reasons seem stupid, childish or whatever else to you, BE THERE FOR THEM and don't judge them. Actually listen when they talk, show that you care. You might save their life.